There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
