I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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