you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize