i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
