he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
He passed out mid-signature
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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