and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
