God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Randomize
