that's an acceptable place to lick
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
