The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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