I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Randomize