is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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