her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
