So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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