I want to have your abortion
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
