North Korea, Best Korea!
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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