:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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