Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Randomize