If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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