I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
