you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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