Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
