Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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