wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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