Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
You are a genius and a whore.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
