I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
