i don't like sucking hair
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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