So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
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