have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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