hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
