I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Don't make out with my wife yet
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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