worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
