ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
