I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
