they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize