im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Randomize
