I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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