All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
