she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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