I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
