we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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