So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
