just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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