Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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