Need sex. Gaining weight.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I am one with the molecules
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize