I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
