I wish I could punch you in the face.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
