Please, let me fuck your mom
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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