i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
