i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I love having hate sex.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
