i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Everything about him screamed your future.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
