the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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