i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I booty called her while she was in labor.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
