Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
