At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I wish you could order shots online.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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