a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
