Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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