I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize