your thong is hanging out like whoa
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
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