Where are you?
In a non slutty way
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
