wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
50% drunk capacity currently
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
