If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
