Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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