If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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