i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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