I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
How does one acquire holy water?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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