Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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