do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
