Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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